Oh, there’s The Panda, creeping girls on Instagram in the Fenway clubhouse bathroom.

Don’t forget third grade science projecteer Ani building C3PO because why not?

So the Giants were trying to get away with a four-fingered discount?

Little known fact: Arthur Blank was actually Joe Piscopo’s body double in Johnny Dangerously.

Bold statement.

Yeah ... shit got real for a minute. I didn't like it.

This thing ain’t just for show, my friend.

A handy TL;DR version of what is my new favorite top ten list of all time:

It’s too bad Dave didn’t go to Bates College, seeing the comic gold she whipped up with Colby.

She’d better watch out: Dave’s from Minnesota, even our dentists kill lions.

Though she would clearly like to see Dave in one.

Nicknames for Magary, ranked:

“As I would push him over in his chair immediately to assert my dominance and supremacy like a lion does in the wild.”

I love how she goes to bat for the women of Houston by asking if you have ever been to a titty bar in Houston. Make your mother proud lady.

I was with ya’ but she’s throwing out some heinous language there...

Charley is the real problem, though.

On behalf of all Texans, please let me be the first to say:

this....this is a better synopsis of why we suck than anything you could have written drew. nothing against you, but this lady takes the cake.