If you believe in an infinite number of universes, then sure. There’s one where he’s the best. Also, due to the infinite nature of the multiverse, there’s one where’s he Hitler.

All I know is that whoever escaped that explosion without a scratch is part of one happy, lucky family right now.

Leaving aside the bad crawl, that website on the awning is a headscratcher. Throw Ed Rolls? Throwed Rolls?

“That is a pretty good goal for a non-Zlatan.”

Ugh. I can smell the drakkar noir from here

I honestly have no idea. I'm middle aged and have zero fucks left to give. Had I know I would still need some at my age I would have saved a bunch. I know when I was younger I gave fucks out like a hooker with a drug debt, but now, when I need them........nothing. Got any give a fucks you can sell me? I have…

In Ronaldo’s defense this interview was supposed to be about Cecil the Lion.

Everyone clicked on this because they thought they were gonna see a nip slip

Once he stops being obviously, clearly hockey’s best player, then yes, we can stop.

A bit obscure but I recommend people check out Pulp Fiction too.

Dear world,

I don’t know Tom, I mean. I am afraid here at Deadspin to say what I think without repercussion. I mean, I get the ESPYs are just famewhoring anyways. I do think reasonable people (not necessarily just Bob Costas) have legit hesitations about hoisting Caitlyn up so unequivocally. I’m sorry :(

“And Hope Solo in the US goal saved the Americans on numerous occasions in front of a vocal ‘home’ crowd in Canada. If it wasn’t for this world-class keeper, this could’ve been a different result.”

In Australia, their tears stream the opposite direction.

Umpires just don’t understand!

Sooner the Cavs blow this series, sooner I can go back to watching the Indians finish in last place. Johnny Football?

It really sounds to me that Dove bars might best be treated like conditioner... wash with something else, rub up with Dove if you feel the need to moisturize, rinse "clean".

That's actually my email signature....

Irish Spring. Also, Old Spice.

This isn't what I was hoping for when I Googled "drunk young girls getting wet"