We absolutely need a Gofundme to get someone to read this in Morgan Freeman’s voice. A quick Googling located this guy: https://jasonsvoices.com/morgan-freeman-hates-sailing/

The Great Milenko isn’t good, but it’s fun as hell.

Tkachuk and Lucic are going to be a pain in the ass for any team they play for the rest of the year. Bad news for them is they’ll be sitting at home come the playoffs.

Being kind and being friends are two totally different things.

...nobody introduce him to meth.

Preposterous. 

But will you eat Domino’s?

If Matthews were go go full Randy Moss and fake moon the crowd after a goal, what would happen?

...school said in a statement that it would no longer allow random alumni to bring cannons to home football games...

No Nowitzki? Absurd.

Brady complaining about unnecessary flags is high comedy and proof positive that his is a cyborg that was not programmed to understand irony.

If 42 had turned around to play D instead of taking out his mouthpiece before the goal was even scored...

Despite being done in the MLB, he’s clearly still got a career in the minors.

Cloth diapers aren’t that bad of a pain in the ass if you have a sprayer attached to your toilet. They fasten with snaps and are adjustable up to the size of a standard two year old.