This makes sense given that Tommy Lee Jones looks like a teenage Benjamin Button.

He should have went electric. Hindsight.

Fun fact: Matt Walsh had the titular line in both Star Wars and Out of Africa.

Amnesiac: how I couldn't for the life of me remember the name of Radiohead's third album.

Love Me Do by The Beatles (sp?). A lot of potential those lads had, sadly never realized after that song.

Welcome Interstate Managers is one of the most underrated albums ever. So damn catchy.

Not sure about this Saltine-crusted nonsense, but the best pork tenderloins are found at the Iowa State Fair. This is gospel. It is known.

You don't need to throw much of a punch to knock out a legally blind septuagenarian. Here comes the Jello!

Should he go the Wilkes Booth route, Depp may find himself once again a Dead Man.

I think the Latin King reference was regarding his bedding of Brazilian hookers. Still not great.

Part of me thinks he's a hell of a lot smarter than people give him credit for in choosing his words carefully AT TIMES. Because, tactically, the "I hope" part is genius. He does a lot of this linguistic obfuscation - there's no way it's all by happy accident.

The note with the muffin basket said: "Dave, top of the muffin TO YOU!"

How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean by providence, impoverished, in squalor, grow up to get his name on the Hollywood Walk of Fame so much faster than Weird Al?

I actually agree, I'm sure it won't happen. *thinks about Cosby and Lance Armstrong…*

That's a good point, and Dems drive me crazy at times as well, but I feel like Obama took that off the table because he saw the Republicans and the burgeoning Tea Party throwing shit fits about any little thing he did. I'm sure he and his team figured at least a half-measure was better than nothing at all, which is…

Sorry, pesto is SO 90's. Hell hates the 90's.

I've always just assumed everyone at the AVC were pyros.

We do indeed need this. The Trump era has made me a cynical bastard.

Also - I love you Al! Congrats!

The way the world has been going lately, it's only a few days until the breaking of the "Weird Al is a [racist, molester, murderer - insert really anything terrible here]" story. Followed by dozens of women coming forward to speak about the abuse they suffered while working with Mr. Rogers. Darkest timeline.