The catch: THERE IS NO RANCH FOR DIPPING. Welcome to hell.

It's not delivery, it's anal rape.

The road to hell is paved with marinara sauce.

I just saw "7 Days in Hell" for the first time a few weeks ago and thoroughly enjoyed it - looking forward to this Tour de France mockdoc.

Nope, that was called What Women Want.

Keep on truckin', baby.

These are Trump's hypothetical words, not mine.

The fact that healthcare doesn't get more coverage is insane. I live in Iowa, which to my understanding is the only state that as of next year won't have ANY insurance offerings to self-employed people above a certain income line. There's about 70,000 or so people in Iowa, myself included, that this will hit. People…

Reality ITSELF is one big j/k now.

So, if he wasn't threatening Comey, by the logic of his original tweet he could have said just about anything about what Comey would hope would not happen to him - "Comey better hope he doesn't die in a hurricane this year", "Comey better hope that he doesn't feed the Mogwai past midnight", "Comey better hope he…

"However, Mark’s—shall we say—experimental cooking is perhaps getting in
the way of that. Rice Krispies-coated chicken? A microwaved banana?"

So when he was just a little kernel, eh? Well, shit, yeah I'll watch it then.

Do we really need yet another Orville Redenbacher show?

"CAPITALIZE ALL OF IT WHAT ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT AND ALSO AL GORE DIDN'T INVENT THE INTERNET IT WAS A HOAX BY CHINA I'M RUNNING IN 2020 THANK YOU" - Kanye

Alyssa really showed him Who's the Boss.

It seems Alyssa wasn't Charmed by this.

There's probably entire fucking provinces in China that could have been fed for years on the combined budget of all of these horrible Transformers movies.

"Oh, so now I'm a virulent unrepentant racist, huh? Hm, okay. Say hi to your mother for me." - Mark

I had a dream the other night that Bill Cosby was sitting quietly eating a cup of Jello, and then suddenly Jello Biafra from Dead Kennedys comes up and punches him in the face.

Dr. Evil was once the number one employer of henchmen arbitrarily turning knobs making it look like they're doing something. We shouldn't forget this.