Very rice joke.

I didn’t know there was a new site called Gawkourse.

More murder than a Mario Bros game? Ask some goombas about that. Oh, you can't. They're dead.

That’s quite a coincidence, considering Dwyane Wade’s cousin was also shot and killed in Chicago.

Is Ashley officially a deadspinner?

Wake up, sheeple!

It was a time of anarchy.

All of a sudden it’s like, “Shit, people are gonna read the garbage that I write.” Too much pressure.

It's a Pokemon.

Man, I loved PC gaming in the 80s. My dad played all of the Sierra games with me back in the day. He even footed the bill for many calls to the Sierra tip line.

NO, THEY ARE POKEMON.

That's why they pay him the big bucks.

I think she moved to deadspin now.

Do you find any facts fun, cornholio?

Like a million bucks, I bet. Way more exciting than hitting a home run.

I actually bought the A&W thanks to Fahey. Couldn't get past the second bite.

It was just the tip.

Every game ends in sudden death.

Why such personal questions? Next you’ll probably dare to ask what time it is. Stay out of this man’s life!

Just use your imagination.