Once had a girl in high school breakup with me via Word document saved on my family computer, circa 2002. It was saved in a folder she named "Read after Prom" that she created like 5 minutes before we left for the damn event.

#notalldudes

Can I get it on a cashmere sweater?

I would put my hand on his shoulder and say "You don't understand what you just said and neither do I."

A part of me hoped against hope that they would maybe be a multi ethnic group of friends rather than a real estate stock photo.

Whatevs. Last week I went outside, walked to bus stop, bus pulled up with no waiting. I got off that bus, walked to transfer bus stop, bus pulled up with no waiting.

I'm going to start offering "Curt Coins" at every restaurant I go to.

My father is the GM of a chain restaurant that does guest surveys (the ones that print out every 10th check or so) and he had been very vocal as to how much of a sham he thinks they are. Naturally the upper management assumes that the higher the guest scores, the better business the store will do.

I suppose you're the only person in the whole wide world who Really Understands What's Wrong With The World? Does No One Understand, But You? Are you Surrounded By Idiots? You're making batshit insane assumptions of people you don't know based on their *hobbies* of all things. Does that sound stupid to you? It…

"A Jezebel Commenter Was Given a Sub-Site, and You Won't Believe What Happened Next!"

OH YEAH WELL YOU'RE PROBABLY A STUCK UP NYC SNOB IM IN FINANCE AND I GET THOUSANDS OF HOTTER TONSILS THAN YOURS EVERY WEEK GET OVER YOURSELF

Needs more "Pony"

NO NO NO KILL IT WITH FIRE. I already dislike "bump" intensely enough. Let's not make it worse, hmm? It's your belly, if you need to be cute about it. That's about as far as I can go without my gorge rising. "Baby bump" makes it seem like a tumor, and as we all know It's Not A Tumah!

Where's our pumpkin-spice flavored dicks, dammit?!

The second you can monetize an activity it USUALLY becomes something potentially masculine and acceptable for men to engage in. Cooking is only girly so long as it's unpaid labor.

And, in turn, I come to see my wife. I used to think of those moments as childish; now I know they are beautifully childlike.

Anyone else creeped out by #2? He's basically saying if he thinks of his wife as a toddler her "annoying habits" become cute.

I would be remiss if I did not point out how amazing this guy is for being such a good wingman for his fish. You don't want to date him? Fine. He's got 23 fish to introduce to you. They are tropical as fuck and ready to mingle. No hard feelings.

Damn grrl...

"..and make sure you've at least answered, at LEAST a few hundred questions on this site. Otherwise our match percentage is likely inaccurate. If I have time to answer thousands, you have time to answer a few hundred."