Cast a female and watch the universe implode.

I would love to see Rami Malek in this one just because it would be cool to see an ethnic Han Solo the rest of this list is a bunch of meh.

The Hunger Games is supposed to be a WARNING for the future, not a damn attraction

So it all comes down to this: Do you want to be known as an adulterer, or an idiot?

Lost in the Pacific?

I haven’t been this confused since she was cast as Elizabeth Taylor.

Can you add Seveneves to the list? Physics cutting hard science fiction, mixed with end of ze world mixed with far future magi-tech would blow any budget and running time.

I remember a column Le Guin wrote for an SF magazine years back, where she said if she was making a Left Hand of Darkness film, she’d cast a few dozen Inuit actors and film the thing near the Arctic Circle. Well, such things are possible...

It’s like if Loki and Justin Bieber fused...

No, it’s Albus Severus and James Sirius Potter. The article was mistaken.

Par. 39 and par. 44. Which date was it the 27th or the 29th? Was she drugged out for two days?

I work for the Feds in a legal capacity. The Washington Post reporters and “federal personnel experts” are overstating this. Trust when I say they have bigger issues on their hands right now than this (meaning the federal government data hack from a couple months ago, that is still a huge issue around here). I will be…

high five to my bf who never complains about using a condom and with whom I have had many fantastic and safe sexual encounters without getting knocked up

To say it ‘produced a fruit’ is technically accurate, but a bit disingenuous:

I have never seen a group hustle so hard to cover their collective asses as this group in Texas. This stinks to high heaven, and the American “law enforcement is ALWAYS right” is going to go along with every bit of bullshit they are fed because of course a woman stopped for the thinnest of reasons, that ended up dead…

Gendry is giving him a boat ride.

The answer is - you can’t! Kinja is written in ink. Here, have an eternal burrito.

He aims with his mind. Or rather, his no-mind. Plus, he’s shooting you in the back of the head at close range, so it’s more of a staple gun kinda aiming.

Seriously, Gawker Media needs to bring Malcom on as a full-time writer/analyst/whatever. Everything you do with him is awesome and a great read. Not to mention that he’s just an all around badass.