Seriously, I had a boss who would’ve taken ALL the credit for this. Not only does giving this kid credit help, but it could get him a job elsewhere. So yeah, shout out to Kerr for this x 10000 for fostering a culture where guys speak up and participate and feel valued.

Are you Deer God? It’s me, Margaret.

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS MOUSE DEER:

Ignore that other post.

My husband went out for beers with some buddies last night. I always joke about how they never talk about anything substantial at these get togethers (ex: his BFF got an annulment 2 days after having a destination wedding and my husband didn’t get around to finding out what the hell happened for more than 2 years). So…

Further proof that is should just be called “marriage.”

I once had a table headed by a woman with a very thick Deep South accent and a few missing teeth. Try as I might I could not understand what she wanted to order. To avoid offense, I smiled brightly, explained to the whole table that I was a little hard of hearing, and asked if she wouldn’t mind writing down what she…

I would like to send an order of the crap dip to the table over there. The one with the lady that’s allergic to crunchy and the man that doesn’t know what scrambled eggs are.

I always applaud appetizer-based diplomacy.

Also it just sounds like an antidepressant.

I’m not typically a fan of cheesy baby announcements, but if I ever get pregnant, I want that bun in the oven cake.

It feels very reminiscient of the National Enquirer and the John Edwards debacle.

I want to marry you so hard right now.

Oh, FFS. Chasidic members of the tribe, could you PLEASE stop embarrassing the rest of us? I’m pretty sure that if Judah could patronize a prostitute and then marry her, her also being his daughter-in-law, everyone will survive moms driving their kids to school. Knock it off.

I have a dream that Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi and Wayne Rooney and Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Manuel Neuer and James Rodriguez and Sergio Aguero and Thomas Muller and any other player of note will all get in front of a microphone and refuse to play in FIFA World Cup qualifying matches.

alcon, rogue and adultosaur this is the outfit we will wear to all our coven meetings please plan accordingly.

10/10 would read this again. The actual movie? I won’t see it once.