Can’t wait for the FFIX remake in a decade that’s split into an unknown number of parts that stretches the first beats into a whole game and there are mist monsters that kill Steiner but bring him back to life and make sure Garnet gets kidnapped and that the Black Waltzes fail and then it ends not even at the first…

Yeah, dudes like this love to entertain the notion in their heads that they are like this generation’s Andy Kaufman, but you know what? **He was also an asshole.** And you ain’t as funny, smart, or witty as him, champ.

I don’t begrudge anybody who is having fun, even if I don’t understand or agree with some of their reasoning. I’ve seen a few other voices online talking about it (fewer on the combat, most are focused on story twists, padding, and episodic nature), and it’s important to remember that discussion boards online are only…

No sense, agreed. I just do not get it, and I feel like I’m the crazy one for it. The *only* thing that makes it make sense is that not only is it Final Fantasy, it’s *Final Fantasy VII.* The only other game that could ever get a remake and be more hyped would be, like, Ocarina of Time. (oh god, can you imagine)

Yeah, I really feel like there’s a possibility the whole thing gets canned three years from now. I mean, this already really smacks of the same kind of developmental woes as 15 and 13, which were both slowly-unfolding disasters spanning the better part of a decade (ditto for Kingdom Hearts). When’s the last time this…

I agree that this just really wasn’t all that good for me. It is 5 hours stretched horribly to 35+; the sidequests are some of the worst of bad JRPG sidequests and add nothing, almost all of the new additions don’t add anything valuable, the pacing is a nightmare; the combat is also nowhere near as great as people…

Official patch from From instead, then? Or how about a remaster that adds in a smattering of Q0L improvements “finishes” a few of the less polished portions?

I thought he was gonna alt-tab at the end and it’d be like AC: Japan or something.

Would be even better if the bullshit just wasn’t there in the first place!

These articles are nice, but, um, maybe one compiling some negatives might be good, just to kinda demonstrate that the game does have its issues?

Because, like:

I both liked the way the entire Wall Market section felt preserved in spirit but updated for modern standards, but also felt off-put by it. Because at the end of the day, you have a character who is forced to change gender expression without really wanting to in order to infiltrate what’s basically a sex slave market…

I love when remakes have new takes on things. New settings, new ideas, new canons, a few familiar beats—I’m all for it. I also know it’s possible that a remake can generally capture the feel of the original even when it does some new stuff (like RE2 did—it even recaptured the kinda convoluted, samey A/B scenario…

Most of the higher-end character models, minus obvious caricatures, have/have had the same porcelain doll, KPop androgyne look for years. If you put them in black and white (no eye color) and cropped out their hair, I think you’d be hard pressed telling them apart or correctly identifying them.

Similarly, Cloud shares…

I think this is a problematic symptom in all kinds of games of photorealistic graphics and characters. Sure, it’s amazing how detailed these character models look, but when you have a bunch of contrived stuff blocking the way in what is otherwise a realistic environment (to say nothing of a setting in which we see…

Yeah, I started to reach that conclusion as well. The player character is aggressively targeted, so you have to juggle characters just so they don’t get overwhelmed, and spend a lot of time kiting and taking potshots when you can. Which is, as you said, joyless and tedious.

I didn’t have these issues controlling a…

I’ve died like ten times in ten hours on normal so I think maybe Normal’s not perfect either.

Yeah, this would solve an issue I am having which is that I think combat is just a liiiittle bit overdesigned. I like “normal attacks build ATB” but then the characters you’re not controlling stand around doing nothing so their ATB builds at a glacial pace. Meanwhile, you have to mash attack because holding it usually…

That information is extremely well known and highly documented, including on this website in multiple exposes from Jason Schreier about Andromeda, Anthem, and other games.

That might have actually been the thing I saw too, I think I misremembered. But yeah, either way--oof, what a transparent tool.

I think I saw a tweet saying Lowe looked like a human gas station condom and I think that’s pretty fair.

Like, Doc Antle was a genuinely scary cult leader (“And his chain hasn’t been properly cleaned, so now my shirt’s ruined.”), but I think it was scarier that Lowe got anybody at all to listen to or be interested in…