The first rule of keto diet: You *must* talk about the keto diet. 

The most annoying part of keto is how annoying people are that constantly tell you they’re on keto. It’s like the new vegan.

Keto isn’t a healthy diet. It’s an extreme diet that forces your body into a starvation state. You are supposed to eat an absolute bare minimum of carbs. People eating a true ketogenic diet are eating mainly meat and dairy.

Ha, I just showed this to my 8 year old.

I audibly gagged at the thought of getting ready to go down on a sexy dude, only to be punched in the face nose by some stank hot dog dick.

It’s not just vaginas! There was a bodybuilder in my dorm when I was in college who basically only ate meat as part of some weird 0% body fat diet. He was stunningly gorgeous, intelligent, and charming. He got tons of one-night stand tail but could never hold down a girlfriend. Why? It was openly discussed (behind his…

Two things.

Harry Reid’s willing retirement would dispute the notion of him getting thrown out. Fucking fuckwit.

“I would never be brave enough to do what Jussie did. He put his personal freedom at stake and shined a light into some dark corners that need cleaning. In a way, I’m proud of him. Because it doesn’t necessarily matter that this event didn’t happen. It matters that it could happen. That’s the real issue here. So good…

My favorite book fair books were the Wayside School series. I’ve got really great childhood memories of the fair rolling through school.

It is homophobic. It is derogatory in any context outside of describing a cigarette outside of England. Replace the F word with the N word, and you should understand better.

I’ve played more of Spirits Mode and World of Light than normal fights! Those two features are controversial, I know, but I really like seeing the creative ways in which NPCs are made by combining fighters, items, stages, and rules. Anyway, my office has a Smash club, so I’ll need to get back to honing my skills in…

Right? There was a time when I read every single one. Now I get to the tweets and the comments won't come fast enough.

Starred and loved for “Shart of the Deal,” which must immediately become a hashtag.

“The Democrats have their finger on the block button, vowing to block every single bit of legislation flowing through Congress that doesn’t ensure the re-opening of the government. Looks like Pelosi, Schumer, and co. are remaining firm with this one.”

I only read the intro and bullet points of Barf Bag and I scroll so fast past the tweets — does anybody else do that? 

Sorry, Brian, but that last image looks to be very much fucking around.

Guys seriously, can we just for ONCE, give props to Taylor when she does something right? You don’t have to crown her Queen of Jezebel, but legit, this was a good thing she did. Today I’m thinking of all her LBGT fans who must be feeling real fucking awesome about their fave sticking up for them politically in this…