Sole mates

My dad brought my mom a soft toilet seat for Valentine’s Day. It was what she wanted because she has colitis. It showed he cared.

MICHAEL KEATON 4-EVA

The tweet includes a collage of four photos of Evans with one Jewish and three African American women whom I guess he dated at some point. I didn’t even know the Captain was down to swirl until Duke pointed it out (call me Chris!)

Michael Keaton or GTFO.

Ok, Chris Evans, you can stop now. I’m already in love with you.

Counterpoint: You’ve never been photographed wearing an “I Heart T.S.” tank top.

You probably look younger though.

How dare you. Charlie Brown is a treasure.

My question is: Why are you so concerned with what Chris Evans is doing with his dick? Like, do you want to put it in your mouth? That’s fine. I too, hope that one day I will be able to put Chris Evan’s dick in my mouth.

Sorry for being off topic, but have you seen this tweet???

It’s not that people want DC films to fail. We want them to stop doing what they’re currently doing and make room for something that won’t fail.

I so badly want this new DC nightmare to end, that I am willing to believe anything.

Ben we can agree. I don’t want you to be batman either.

She was dumped because she refused to sext him? Watching bananarama videos make me feel old. This type of shit makes me weep for the young girls dating today...

She is wearing a ton of makeup, it’s just fairly monochrome.

Blowjobs are the new “nice to meet you!”
Fingerbanging is the new flirting!
Squirting is the new blowing a kiss!

You can keep the vibes. I’ll take the Charlotte Olympia flats.