GTFO, HATER. *slaps you with a wiig full of fish*

I love McKinnon's Merkel so much.

Is anybody else already willing to buy a ticket to the movie, a copy of the DVD, and a t-shirt?

KATE MCKINNON YAAAAASSSSSSSS

Who ya gonna call?

Ever found a 40-ish guy hooking up with a 19 yo girl "amazing" and giving their relationship the benefit of the doubt? Let's not forget - when they met, she was the director of the movie that he was part of as a rookie actor. If that is not a position of power I don't know what is?

Shit. I didn't like 19-year-old boys when I was 19. (Someone high five me. Please.)

OY, could James' favorite movie picks be any more basic and pedestrian????

How could this project NOT suck? A book that started life has "Twilight" fan-fiction, hastily remade by mass editing out "Edward" and "Bella"?

There ate so many messed up quotes from this book:

The way "jeez" is repeated, I'm imagining the tone of an exasperated parent whose kid left the milk out again. "Jeez, Mr. Grey, did you put your penis into another vagina? When will you learn?"

I feel like this should've been a scene from a Seinfeld episode, not erotic fiction.

This is exactly it -except I can guarantee that E.L James did not even bother to watch some kink.com before hand. She's not kinky IRL at all which is confirmed by her rather uncomfortably under the spotlight husband, and I think a lot of this is wish fulfillment and fantasy and that's exactly how it reads. The…

my mother read this. My mother read this. My mother read this MY MOTHER READ THIS AAAAGUUUGGHHHH

How... many... goddamn... elipses... does... this... hack... use...?

"Oh jeez. Jeez. Oh jeez." It's about as awkward as somebody saying "Yep. Yep! Yep!" as they climax.

See, it is literally impossible to make Dakota Johnson memorable in any way whatsoever.

I really want to lose three pounds.

Aw, flea. Your pronouns are questionable, but your emojis seem to be in the right place. <3