How has the full report not leaked yet? That blows my mind more than anything. There is no fucking way FIFA runs so tight a ship. There has to be someone shopping it around somewhere.

It won't happen until those FAs start losing money because of FIFA.

I'm confused about the Flying Spaghetti Monster having a place on that crest. How is that as bad as Ed Hardy, Nickleback, or Axe? Or, rather, how is it bad at all?

Oh, I absolutely don't deny that. And as I said, I prefer my BMWs to be as simple and light and non-turbo'do (and yes, as analog) as possible. I'm trying really hard to stop myself from picking up an E34 currently.

I don't disagree that this is a spectacular car, and I also prefer my BMWs to be as simple and as light and as naturally-aspirated as possible... But at the same time, I hate the "this is the last great [whatever] ever built, because modern things are new and scary and different and not as good" bullshit.

I legitimately don't get the Buffalo Genies. Is it a joke about the Bills (always understandable), or simply that the Bills are so uninspiring that he didn't bother putting much thought or effort into it (also understandable)?

I want to think this marks the end of Simmons' tenure with ESPN, but I'm so jaded, half of me thinks this is just a carefully scripted ploy to create a story where none exists.

Neutral: Either one of ze Germans or the Fusion.

Motherfucker. As if this wasn't a shitty enough Monday already. Motherfucker.

Yeah, usually I won't believe anything that comes from the team-that-shall-not-be-named, but if there are sources saying that the team was pissed at Tony Wyllie, I'll buy it. Dude is Dan Snyder in PR flak form.

I'm sure there are a few other people out there today who wish the moron would shut the fuck up a little more than usual.

I don't know if you're a racist, but you're almost certainly a moron.

I never thought of it that way. We do take ourselves too seriously. Minstrel shows and institutionalized racism and a few hundred years of suffering are hilarious! And when you combine it with domestic violence, it's not just hilarious but also awesome! It's hilarisome!

If you don't think blackface is racist, then you're either a moron or a racist. Or, most likely, both.

You want me to explain how blackface is racist. That's a thing you're struggling to understand.

Blackface is racist. Blackface is never not racist.

If you're a college kid dressing up as blackface Ray Rice, you're an awful human being, but at least there's a chance that you're just young and stupid, and you'll grow out of it.

Sometimes I wish Hudson would show some restraint. Don't get me wrong, I love his commentary, but when everything is magisteeeeeerial, it kind of takes away from the overall effect.

Oh god, just shut up already. Take the fifteen minutes you're thinking about spending writing yet another whiny reply to this thread and use it to look for a sense of humor.

/folds hands, closes eyes