If someone asks you a question — any question — that begins with “Who won the,” your wild-ass guess should never be “North Korea.”

Go into any bar in the Philadelphia metro area and ask a Phils fan about Howard. Then get ready for the hard ‘r’.

Ryan, thank you for the great seasons you gave us Phillies fans. You will always have a special place in our memories.

Perhaps it’s 3-1 lead poisoning.

Also, sun is hot.  

This is my favourite excerpt.

I dunno some of the celebrating penalties certainly seem like a Black and White issue

It’s the Browns. This is like Schrödinger’s Draft Pick. Whoever they choose has a 50% chance of being a dead cat.

Not my president’s trophy

Ranadive: Hey DeMarcus, what do you think about a trade for Buddy Hield?

He’s not you guy, friiiieeerrennd!

He’s not your buddy, guy.

Imagine they get in trouble for tampering and lose the draft picks

He’s not your friend, Buddy.

Still not as good as Uzzy.

That’s just standard kinesiology

Well, now, hold on. Did he go to school in the south? They teach you it’s okay to touch cousins like that.

I know it’s not a popular take around here, but Under Armour should be focused on manufacturing their products here in America with American workers and materials. You are talking about creating however many jobs it takes to manufacture every Steph Curry shoe sold in this country. So, like 2-3 jobs AT LEAST.