This is exactly why I don’t have or desire friends. I don’t get the rules. #foreveralone

Oops. I copied you before I saw you. I guess you just get me.

Wouldn’t matter. She’s washed clean. Jesus is better than bleach and damage control.

Thank you for teaching me the word anodyne right off the bat.

What did spring ever do to you except sunshine and green happening?

Can we get a link to that decision?

Introduce me to your bookie, please.

Yeah but all those white carbs and hot dogs are so not for the InstaParents. You know what they say, “Cute, but no sugar”

I’m ready!

I just eagerly searched “Fake Plastic Trees glue gun”

“Do not say that nothing’s changed when it comes to race in America, unless you lived through being a black man in the 1950s or ‘60s or ‘70s.”

Also, here is a picture of my grandma, because she is beautiful as well, and might haunt me if I don’t post her along with grandpa.

My abuelo in around 1950. Handsome, no?

More of a Dellavedadbod. Amiright?

I feel you on the eyebrow movement ... I don’t think I’ll ever get some of that hair back. And of course I was a teenager and plucked incorrectly.

Don’t be such a boob punch, DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTina

Wait a minute ... which was a wig?

More! More!

What’s the story behind this one? I must know