Thanks Ashley, now whenever we talk about Trump in politics I will just think about how we were this close to Mike Tyson solving this problem for us in the 80s.

No, let’s talk about it. He makes my lady bits wither and dry up. Simultaneously, I also want to shit and vomit looking at him.

My churl, my churl, don’t tweet at me;

“Look at this poor who is taking our picture.”

What does sad goose stepping look like?

It was probably some kind of breaststroking that led to his freestyle story, but the butterfly effect of telling his mother is now causing him to go into full backstroke mode.

Billy really is doing God’s work. #MakeAmericaBrannigan

Many people are saying Donald Trump funds NAMBLA. Smart people, the best people, are saying Donald Trump funds NAMBLA. I myself do not know if Donald Trump funds NAMBLA, but I would very much like for there to be research into Donald Trump funding NAMBLA, if indeed Donald Trump funds NAMBLA.

And that, boys and girls, is how Patricia's inbox got flooded with dickpics.

There’s a strong intersection between the type of dude who wants a brown turbo diesel manual wagon, and the type of dude who would fly 5000 miles on a whim to see a woman he’s only texted.

This seems like an odd route to take to try and raise the money to finish building the Olympic venues.

Or Department of Transportation.

That one on the side of the RV looks like Nien Nunb.

Had one of my soldiers in Iraq taking a college course, he needed to give a “public speech” for one project - he chose anti-abortion as his topic, with lots of slides. All I could think is that I wanted gummi bears afterward.

Those who saw Evans expose himself said that it was no big deal.

Crexit.

Only appropriate that on 4th of July the American once again conquers the Brit.

It would mess up the perfect ratio to kick him off and not replace with another Ginger; however subbing in a Red Golden Retriever would get rid of so much shouting, add a degree of compliance and give the other hosts some bit of pet therapy while they wait to say their lines. Win Win If I do say so myself.