You can make a mistake about Britney once.

I was only quoting Rupert Giles, who is an Englishman and thus unlikely to slur scones unjustly.

Clearly you never heard the parable of the homeless penis.

Sure, why not, you wanker! Seriously, I was on a dingbat kick for a while. Then I would ask the dogs which one of the little ratfinks I was going to kick in the fanny for some weird thing or another.

To these beanpole dames from the magazanes: you ain't it Miss Thang.

It's almost as if gay people can be gay without it being a huge defining trait in their personality and/or storyline.

There is a fine line between the "cool" mom and the stupid as hell mom. This woman saw that line as a personal challenge, backed up and mad jumped right over that sucker and ran right down field to the criminal mom end zone.

Right after Jennifer Aniston does.

I have tears in my eyes and I don't know what to say. Thank you for teaching me that I can say what the fuck is exactly on my mind. Thank you for standing up for every woman who has ever been run off the Internet. Thank you for showing me how to give exactly zero fucks, no matter what hateful, hurtful things they try…

Fine. I'll buy your book.

I am almost weeping reading this. Sometimes I am up to here with the "love yourself" rhetoric because Western culture is severely lacking in a dedication to community, but the advice in Polly's column is solid gold.

I'm changing it back.

My best friend is a 5'3" tiny woman, and she runs all the time. Once she was alone and a dude on his bike smacked her ass. So she shoved him off his bike and yelled, "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT WEARING A HELMET, ASSHOLE!!!" and then ran off.

I really like Emmy Rossum :)

Here is a sample apology for celebrities to use.

I am personally very sorry that I did _____________ [insert bad thing]

I realise now that it was wrong and I ______________ [insert method of making it up to offended parties]

TA-DA

YEAH, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN JUST

Thank you. I went on a response binge to try and get more people out of the grays, was worried I was being obnoxious instead of funny.