Something tells me you won’t need to worry about anyone talking to you...

Finishing 4th is good in the EPL. Not so much in war.

Seriously, who wants to be winning a war from the start only to lose it in the last 2 months?

Well, the entire point of the article was to counter what had been said previously on Foxtrot; that carriers are easy to sink.

LOOK I GET THAT HOCKEY PLAYERS CAN PLAY THROUGH ANYTHING AND NBA PLAYERS IN COMPARISON ARE GIANT PUSSIES, BUT SOMEONE ACTUALLY PLAYED WITH BEACHBALL HEAD?! AT SOME POINT THE LEAGUE NEEDS TO START THINKING ABOUT PLAYER SAFETY! SMDH!

More like Marcus Smart Aleck, amirite?

Amazing. Here I thought he made a great deal of money on his ability to evade.

In Bloomberg’s squeeze tests, hands did the job quicker, but the device was slightly more thorough.

If making juice out of juice is so easy then how come everyone’s not doing it?

The device Evans spent three years laboring to invent is a $400 WiFi-enabled tabletop machine that squeezes juice ... out of a bag of Juicero-brand juice. It squeezes bags of juice. It is a juice press that squeezes the juice ... out of bags of juice. Bags ... with built-in spouts ... that are filled with juice. Juice…

This is my favourite excerpt.

What is with these Patriot TEs always hanging around at the wrong time?

Poor kid, no father to prevent him from becoming a full-kit wanker.

Don’t let this development ever let you forget that the Atlanta Falcons blew a 25 point lead in the SuperBowl.

I can’t wait to see the tattoo he gets for this one.

Wow, this guy just can’t stop killing people. 

Yeah, I’m actually very confused by the asshole tone of this article.

Man does good thing. Blog that agrees with his conclusions mocks him anyways.

BUT! It involves a rich guy! So Deadspin cannot advocate on his behalf. Rich and successful = evil around here!

ummm... maybe don’t watch this week’s episode