It's a classic butterface.

Pretty sure she still looks better snorkeling than I did, so not getting the hate.

I can believe this. American Airlines lost my bag on a direct, non-stop flight.

E I E I ewe

This is how I totes mah goats.

And a Jamocha shake

My first thought was ‘How appropriate that the author’s name is Hate’.

We need more people like you.

I respect the fact that she's so open about getting surgery.

Worth it for Julianne Moore’s ‘vagina’ monologue.

Irrelevant, as Hardy and I will be reinacting the Big Lebowski dream sequence.

I got some bad burns as a kid and am sporting a fresh biopsy scar (clear, thankyouwhoever). It’s a legitimate concern and flippant headlines are completely inappropriate.

No, because then you two go bowling with Tom Hardy and I.

Dear Conan, front desk staff can also see what in-room movies you purchase. Sweetie, we already know.

Wine helps :/

Bbbbut THC levels!!!!!! (Intended as bitter commentary). ETA spelling

I demand all of my undergarments now come with this label.

Yeah- swap ‘basic’ home repair for car and you’ve summed up my weekends.

I used to work front desk at a hotel in Asheville. One lady called to book her leaf-peeping trip, and: “Downtown’s so pretty, but have they done anything about those hills?” I assured her we had just installed a marvelous new set of chair lifts.

Anyone else channeling the Simpsons and singing ‘Gov slap, baby gov slap’? No one? Good, because uh, I wasn’t either.