You can’t get around width and pitch. Airplane cabins operate in the Newtonian world not the quantum one.

I fantasize about doing this, then inviting parents and sibling over to a fancy brunch. I fear I will offend some family members, but I would really rather save the money for something that makes more sense to me.

Damn right, wife and I got sick of everyone else planning “our” wedding so we said fuck it and did it in a Vegas-style chapel.

I’ve never had to push a call button in my life.  Even a 12 hour jog to Frankfurt.  I came here for those legs.  Those are nice legs.

The “Police” on the receipt thing was explained in another article I read about this:

your receipt said police because you refused to give them your name when they asked and just police officer I guess thinking maybe you should get special treatment another bully with a badge evidently

They typed “Police” on your receipt because your egotistical ass said “officer” then “police officer” when they asked for your name. Why give someone that stupid a gun and badge?

Amy Schumer, come get your racist sister.

you can all be fancynas you like. until you realize that theres a black water tank that will   need discharging soo 

RIGHT? I’d give a misto sprayer and a quality cooking oil like grapeseed a try for this take

My buddy used to be  the office manager at Nerdist and he confirmed that Hardwick basically just stopped having any involvement with the company for years because he was “too famous” for it.

I gotta wonder, is headbutting indicative of hard fucking, or just incompetent fucking?

I’ve always been a fan of Hardwick and the message he’s touted but geez, I honestly didn’t think this.... Fuck him right up the bumhole....

I’m fully convinced that cops are some of the stupidest motherfuckers on the planet.

Obligatory

For hetero clubs, single males are generally unwelcome and you’ll need to know someone to get in, where single women get the red carpet treatment.

What I expect: Super Gonorrhea

It is not, so don’t double down with more lies. Fucking gross.

Seriously, imagine a bunch of men get together to discuss what it means to be a woman.

For all the “hypocrisy” critics, it’s a healthy sign a writer is able to criticize something that provides their company revenue.