We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we still have our ways. One trick is to tell ‘em stories that don’t go anywhere...like the time I took the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe. So, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to…

If anyone wants to hit up ole’ Jimmy Spanny himself and ask him what the fuck is going on, here’s his number! 917-881-5965

Now play Classical Gas!

“Tonight, someone will lose.”

Can we at least get one last DUAN?

Big League Chew

Speaking for everyone, where’s xanax?

Nice.

Exquisite sports content

Hey, they are with you guys!

I see what you did there. Even though Burnenko specifically told me not to post GIFs anymore...

God damn it. Stick to sports and stop talking about the MLS!

Wow!  This is a great post about sports, sports only, and nothing else besides sports!

It’s like umami for the commentariat soul.

Plus 20,000 Barry Petcheskys 

So they used “sports to stick” it to the man?

May I suggest a new Deadspin mascott, Sticky; The Stick-to-Sports Stick. Sticky lives in Jim Spanfeller’s butt.

It doesn’t get much better than this, Luis.  

Sticking it to powerful people who are fucking up a good thing with disingenuous pleas to “avoid controversy” and “stick to sports” is a good thing.

*chef's kiss*

Hey that piece of shit nestled between that pig’s enormous testicles looks just like Jim Spanfeller! Uncanny!