Alternatively:

It never ceases to amaze me that people think only the South is racist.

So they somehow convinced Stephen Miller that tattooing a serial number on their wrists still had bad optics?

This is Alabama, that could be 1997.

Homo erectus? What are you some smart ass evolutionary biologist? Lies! Straight from the pit of hell!

Phil Hartman always gets a star.

Eating meat. 

It’s cute the way you think there will be a 2060.

I wonder what college students in 2019 will lose their jobs over in 2060?

Nah Brah.

My favorite part of any Dave McKenna story is the disclosures portion where he mentioned how many times subjects of his articles have called to berate him.

I respect the fact that you are open to bringing another man into the bedroom. Very open-minded of you.

“There’s a bad history of being analogized to insects that goes back to a lot of totalitarian regimes in the past,” Stephens said on MSNBC Tuesday.

He is awfully sensitive for someone whose entire career consists of being a giant meany.

Two prizes at once, she’s a multitasker.

She’s just keeping one eye on the prize.

Those were the fantasy football fans.

The Major sport that’s hardest on your body, is far and away the worst for your brain (and long term risks), but pays far and away the least and guarantees nothing in contracts (and has a history of fucking over it’s retirees) is having a problem with players walking away from the game.

Since it’s Texas, maybe they can use guns to cool the school somehow?

If they were GeoThermonuclear A/C units, leaks would be the last thing we’d be worried about.