Make it so!

He’s not all that bad. If you offer to make him a high ball while he watches the football game he’ll tell you about how he still has that piece of shrapnel in his leg from the Korean War, and that’s a good story. 

Summer, 1995. My high school crush and I get general admission tickets to see Live (yes, I’m old). We fight, and I mean push and shove, our way all the way up to the front, with hot, sweaty bodies on all sides. It was gross, but once we got to the front, there was air and of course, we were inches away from the band.…

If you’re ever in Manhattan, visit Bleecker St. and pretend you’re not in a mall.

These morons all went to Zapp Brannigan Online University.

Oh for sure. My Latina coworkers and I were talking about it the next day and while we...uh...appreciated the effort (sorta) it was just a full-body cringe from start to finish. It’s like that well-meaning (white) guy trying to flirt with you and opening with, “So, where are you from? Wow, your English is so good!”…

She sounds just a hop and a skip from Tom Cruise and Scientology. 

Even if I think Marianne Williamson is batty, I did appreciate her tweet about needing to learn Spanish. I’m so sad we will not get an episode of Veep that includes Selina Meyer trying to learn Spanish for debate prep.

I want her to go to Chernobyl.

Ummmm WHAT?!

It’s harrowing how prescient Transmetropolitan reads now. 1997! I mean in some ways, politics never changes of course, but it’s an absolute monster of a read in this day and age.

God, thank you! Even if I didn’t like Mayor Pete, the fault lies not in our fences, Horatio, but in our leadership. More ink about the failure of the Democrats to attach any strings to the fat billion-dollar purse they just sent to Homeland Security, and less ink about exactly what kind of performative outrage is…

John Edwards was an excellent Presidential candidate whom I supported until it was revealed that he had cheated on and fathered a child out of wedlock without his cancer-stricken wife. The whole thing was a damn shame. He was the proof of the old adage, “Republicans screw women over politically, Democrats screw…

Exactly! They all climbed up a ladder for a better photo op and to get recorded interacting with protesters. He tried to go in through official channels and couldn’t so he split. How is that so much worse?

So they’re all using these kids as political props, but Pete gets shit for it because he didn’t do it from 3 feet off the ground.

Jangles keys.

Or just cough. 

We all know it's because Putin called him at the last minute and scolded him for being a dumbass.

The real reason he cancelled the Iran strike: They warned him he might have to make decisions and turn off Fox News during “executive time” and he said “noooooope.”

and is another impractical attempt to disrupt and distract the president from his official duties