Too old. Not his type. 

With lots of lightning bolts.

I don’t think you’d have to be paranoid to assume that. 

If Ivanka can’t jingle her keys enough to calm down Donnie Two Scoops there may indeed be a “problem.”

Can you imagine? He would just lose all the shit.

Fuck yeah. The only thing worse than living through the present is living in the kind of future where Dump and Putin rule the wasteland.

And Congress finally moving to impeach all fucking ready.

Can you imagine trying to explain to Dump that he can’t fire Pence? Not enough drugs in the world for that.

Wait, he was in Chile or Argentina yesterday?

C’mon, stroke! I’d prefer heart attack so he can’t get out of his trial on grounds of being paralyzed, but we can’t have it all.

Yep, that’s not only what she’s claimed but what GOOP was specifically designed to sell. And this little “seminar” was a distillation of the same thing. Since her entire schtick is built around Rich White Lady Living Expensive Best Life, it can be inferred by the marks that spending almost six thousand dollars on a…

Especially if you’re the boy.

I promise you this is exactly what they thought, and GOOP in general/this ripoff package in particular was designed to make them feel that they were going to spend lots and lots of time being validated in their life choices by one of life’s Lotto winners.

They don’t have money, they have credit cards.

Overpaying is what made them feel special. “I’m sure the wildly outsized pricing means Gwennie really likes me!” Then when they didn’t get to hang out with her for a solid 48 hours they felt all betrayed. 

You know they all booked a weekend at the Fyre Festival to get over the disappointment.

NO.

we had our call — I guess it was yesterday; feels

The idea of the NRA being too broke to stump for our six time bankrupt traitorous thief of a not President is truly a bright spot in this hellish abyss.