Well if only he’d been wearing a mask, the pepper spray wouldn’t have hurt as much.

Mitch McConnell can eat shit soup.

She was paid a lot of money to come to Fargo, ND back in the day (when I lived there, god help me), and all she could do was insult Fargo and read her poetry. Nobody spends an evening with JCO to hear poetry. It was like the fucking Vogons. 

Let’s be real. This is some guy’s “My Favorite People/Americans” Photoshop pet project that he’s been working on for years, since he was in high school, updating it with his latest favorite TV shows, franchises, and celebrities. And then when he was assigned with the task of coming up with a graphic for the USWNT team,…

These aren’t mutually exclusive, you judgmental ass. And i was trying to generate a bit of dark humor, but since that was obviously lost on you, let’s examine, shall we?

Sushi doesn’t go with crackers.

“Wellness” is a scheme invented by our corporate overlords to squeeze every last ounce of productivity out of us by dehumanizing our most profound moments of sorrow and joy into microtargetable data. Don’t be complicit. Smash your smartphone, burn your fitbit, eat your calorie tracker. 

#staywoke

Pregnancy is a potential consequence of sex. If a man isn’t prepared to accept that his sexual partner may choose an abortion, he shouldn’t have sex.

She has a beard, it's name is Jared.