Just the thought that it might be a tonsil stone is just UGHGUHGUHGDUGH. It’s insane how vile this humanoid sludgepile we call Ted Cruz actually is.

I tried to convince myself it was a Tic Tac so I could live.

Vacations to Sears are the saddest vacations.

She makes being a balding drug addict seem so glamorous.

That poor kid looks exactly like Donald. Sad.

Why, *why* don’t they realize how thoroughly they’ve fucked themselves over?

Oh, no. No, Dwayne. We’re dead fucking meat. Dead meat, Dwayne.

I’m a completely different color than my sister. It happens.

It’ll be okay, Dwayne.

I don’t know what that means.