This is John Cho. All other crush suggestions are invalid.

+1 on Ryan and I'll add John Stamos to that mix. 100% homo for those two.

She got very angry, said no and that she'd eat it even though we were wrong...and then told us that if a customer wants you to grill a steak until it gets tender, you grill it until it gets tender.

be excellent to each other

I shut the fuck up the instant I feel my temperature rising. There is zero point in trying to discuss anything like an adult in the midst of an amygdala hijack, because everything that comes out of your mouth will be overtly hostile and/or defensive.

Again, why any guy (I guess straight or otherwise) would consider "dick-sucker" to be an insult when, chances are, they probably enjoy the skillz of said dick-sucker is completely beyond me. Like, "you fucking cake-baker," or "you fucking fine artist," or "you fucking artisan jeweler." Go on, insult people for doing…

I'm not naturally a "scorched earth" sort when it comes to matters before the law. But there is an ever-growing subset of humans with power they use exclusively to victimize those who can't defend themselves and glorify themselves for their own cruelty. I'm sick of it, and I have no qualms about the tables turning,…

But now those pumpkins have rotten,

Can I have that recipe plz?

It's enough to make you nostalgic for a time when the

This is horrific and disgusting. It's the stuff of nightmares. How are we allowing this to happen? Goddammit, we are LOSING. How does a cluster of cells have more rights than a living, breathing, thinking woman?

Lighten up, Francis. I'm not making fun of them because they exclude women, I'm making fun of them because they're called the Adventurer's Club, which sounds like the Super Adventure Club on South Park. If you recall, a running joke on that episode is when revealed that the focus of the Super Adventure Club is…

LOL! Wow, Debbie Downer. Sure you don't want to diagnose a potential brain tumor in the baby too from the pitch of its laughter? I mean, it's 58 seconds of their lives presented for shits and giggles. Un-clench.

See the thing is, your arguments are excellent reasons why people shouldn't practice polygamy. I agree, they're shitty situation.

I wonder what the lady typing out this memo must have felt. Two days away from the Ides of March, perhaps she wanted to reenacte it with her letter opener.

The only bugs I'll eat are the ones that fly down my throat when I ride my bike.

Mom had another saying about the difference betewen laughing with and laughing at, too.