People don’t actually give kids drugs on purpose, because drugs are expensive. The whole “drugs being handed out on Halloween omg” thing is an urban legend. When kids get drugs in Halloween candy, it’s because an adult got high and made a mistake, not because they wanted to give kids drugs for funsies. Similarly, it's…

Can confirm, an ex and several friends worked for KFC and I heard all about the process. 

It’s like the Sahara in my underwear right now

“I can always lose weight, but your face is going to be stuck like that forever”

If anyone gives you shit, channel Patton Oswalt.

It's the 2018 equivalent of "I was just holding on to these cigarettes for my friend".

Because it seriously undermines their whole “women are weak and fragile creatures who lack both the physical and mental ability to manage their own lives successfully and definitely need men to do it for them” schtick.

I spend waaaaay too much time on r/antimlm

Christmas was really a “thing” for my ex-husband and I, it definitely doesn’t hold the charm that it used to for me. I’ll probably spend Christmas with my parents, provided I can find a window where my sister isn’t visiting.

I’m so flippin’ jealous of that Fat Pony cushion. Kate Beaton is the best.

Still going through the process of gathering various transcripts so that I know about any upgrades I have to do before applying to uni. Certain provinces *coughAlbertacough* are slow as fuck to dig things up, in addition to requiring everything via snail mail. And there’s a Canada Post strike on.

I’m not even plus sized and I’ve never been able to get anything from VS. The bra size range stops a full cup size under what I need and most of the underwear looks too uncomfortable to actually wear.

The first time I heard from an American friend that her older sister’s birth had cost approx. $30,000, I thought she was yanking my chain.

Right? They’re so keen to send us dick pics that most of them don’t even ask first. You’d think more guys would be showing it off in the movies.

“totally helped clean the kitchen (for the last 5 minutes of the job)“ 

sign your stepmom up for an anarchist/antifa newsletter for payback.

“I’m cool, I’m just like one of the GUYS, not like those other jealous bitches just using their “undue influence” all over the place!!!”

Yawn. Tale as old as time, apparently.

If I were unable to speak and stuck lying in a hospital bed while this vile woman spouted lies and my family teared up because they really thought it was helping, I might have an aneurysm from sheer rage. Then my ghost would haunt this bitch for life.