I am just in awe over how this guy has turned “I knowingly flew to another country with no visa and now they won’t let me in and I have to leave” into “I am being persecuted for my religion and held as a political prisoner in a scary secret military facility”. From what I can see, this guy has more or less perfected…

“If there’s a bright center to the universe internet, you’re on the planet website that it’s farthest from.”

Right? Best porn I own is a homemade vid of a sexy guy I know tuggin it in the shower.

I have no problem with Mr. Chocobo watching porn, but I’m not into joining him. Porn’s just not my thing. If I happen to accidentally catch him at it, it’s mostly a snerk and move on kind of deal.

I’m with you. If you don’t recognize him, you don’t owe him anything.

jake makes everything better

More accurate, but it doesn’t tug at the heartstrings enough. Anti-choicers have always preferred to overlook the whole “most abortions happen early” part, because it’s much harder to get the frothing hordes worked up over something that doesn’t look like an adorable baby yet.

perfection

I love everything about this!

I have a unisex name that doesn’t rhyme with anything awful. Suck it, childhood haters.

may I join in the merriment?

No nursing homes. He’d probably punch out the residents instead of doing the housekeeping.

Alopecia’s too good for her. Shit doesn’t even hurt.

Got one caught in my helmet while riding my bike, almost ran a stop sign and got myself killed.

F cups have to be good for something.

ETA: totes saving that gif

I still know all the words to Robert W. Service’s “The Cremation of Sam McGee” and I can do the lipstick trick from The Breakfast Club.

Also a great reason to discourage teens from using it, seeing as things like schizophrenia often don’t show up until the late teens. I wasn’t trying to imply that it’s risk free or anything, I just hate to see it presented as a one way ticket to crazytown, full stop. (Media presentation, not yours personally)