I nominate this to the Deadspin Hall of Fame.

My daily fantasy consists of both of these companies going away.

You’re wayyyy too low. You need to add 1 for each person who worked at 38 Studios that got shit-canned.

If anybody is curious, I am also WILLING to sign for 3/$53M with the Cavaliers.

Texas HS football players have enlisted special teams in their war against the refs.

Yeah but you can’t blame Dortmund for not selling him. They made a great run to the Champions League final with him.

Public sector Wisconsin worker here. You’re not allowed to hate him more than I am.

I actually really enjoyed the Cardinals’ book. I mean, there’s a lot of senseless violence and it has some questionable things to say about black people, but the prose is spectacular.

I love that the Cubs actually have fun and look like their having fun. The Cardinals faces always look like their dad is forcing them to play little league even though they just want to go home and play video games with their friends.

It looks to me like the umpire is taking Lynn’s lunch order.

I don’t think you know what communism or socialism actually mean. Sanders is, truly, party to neither of those ideas in full. Further, what does the qualifier “boring” have to do with the noun “liar?” Would you rather an exciting or entertaining liar who wages a global war and robs its constituency blind?

Lighten up, Francis.

I don’t know, Samer. They need help, but there is a much cheaper option at safety on Washington’s scout team.

Seriously, Deadspin, before all the snark pours in, for stories like this you should be noting the suicide prevention hotline number and other relevant resources.

Please if you are having suicidal thoughts or just struggling with depression talk to a friend or call the suicide prevention hotline. They’re there to help: 1-800-273-8255.

I give this story 1.5 thumbs up.

Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Apple