Dear old guy,

Can we stop using “pussy” as a word to mean weak though? My vagina has birthed three god damn kids.

That’s because no one who uses Excel has an important job.
I use excel every day. Also...notice what I’m doing right now.

Last time a Raptor played for the US Olympic team in the number 9 jersey this happened..

In a show of solidarity with everyone in North Carolina who is unsure which bathroom they are legally allowed to use, Governor Pat McCrory just shit his pants.

Bat Flip or get the fuck out.

As far as Calvins on Sunday, he is only second to Hobbes for bringing a paper tiger to life.

welcome to finishing 7th in the east and not getting a good draft pick.

Ah, come on. He’s not that bad. Cut the guy some slacks.

I haven’t seen a dead horse beaten this badly since I visited Johnny Cueto’s Instagram.

I’d like to posit the theory that the safest vehicles are brown, diesel, manual, volvo wagons from the 80s. If everyone drove such a vehicle, the risk of a high speed collision is effectively zero.

The Padres are responsible for driving away business from the Padres not the homeless.

Maybe it’s time you embraced something new....With arms wide open.

There was a stretch in the early 2000s where Barry’s numbers were so off the chart that only Babe Ruth at his peak is a legitimate comparison. What was Bonds on? Another planet is what he was on. Never a fan of his, but I stopped what I was doing when bonds was up.

I think that we all deserve an apology for that comment.

That's a Clowne Plaza, bro

Busch did 9/11.

Duh. Colon always goes for seconds.

If Colon could put in orders from the batting box, I imagine it would be Chinese.