Gneiss.

I would but I don’t usually have an hour to wait for someone to bother moving the chicken from the rack to a tray and hand it to me.

“A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.”- Mitch Hedberg

The problem isn’t the shoes, it’s that triathletes can’t ride bikes.

Allow me to preempt the people who are gonna come here and cry about it - yes, every time, yes, all season. The Best Feature in Baseball will never die.

Those are some valid points.

It happens. If we’re being honest my daughter was standard but my son was GORGEOUS. This was aided, I’m sure, by the fact that my son was a c-section but my daughter was a VBAC and came out looking a bit like a prize fighter since all 9lbs 2 oz of her had to squeeze out of my vagine. She needed a couple weeks to get…

Hey look everybody; someone who either doesn’t know what “mansplaining” is while dumbly using it in a reverse-accusatory manner -or- is being just plain old disingenuous in their use of the term.

Let’s just move everyone out of LA. Then give it to the NFL to build a massive multi stadium facility that all the teams play in. It’ll be like NFL Disneyland. Different tickets get you into one game or all day. Or stay the weekend and see all the sights!

Don’t forget about the paint-splattered overalls.

I’ve long held the opinion that forced birthers from every country are the same. They’re against abortions for all those random sluts, but when they or a family member needs one, that’s when abortions are acceptable. As mosquitos can’t differentiate between the poor and the rich, I wouldn't be surprised to see at…

Dear Mr. Phelps,

Fuck cancer

They always rise again.

In 2013 the Spurs has crafted what was essentially a perfect team but ran into Lebron James in the finals, who simply overpowered them with his greatness.

Once your parents are empty-nesters and you have children of your own, invite them to your house for the holidays.

That’s a good barometer of movie watching. Would you watch it again? And honestly, with Zombieland, I’d have to say, ‘meh.’ I liked it but wouldn’t want to see it again. Good talk. :)