“By the way, I invited like a few million friends, hope that’s OK.”

Let’s just say he’s been blacklisted by AirBNB.

Fine. But I’ll continue to honor Columbus in my own way by frequently getting lost and being a terrible houseguest.

If we can’t keep the Columbus in Columbus Day, how can we ever hope to keep the Christ in Christmas, though?

Columbus sailed the ocean blue

True. Jezebel is kind of friendship porn for me. I get to “meet” all these brilliant, funny people.

The GOP is fracturing! We’re seeing a major party break apart in our time - this hasn’t really happened since the Republicans displaced the Whigs, has it?

It is truly glorious. A+ Lucien. And 1,000,000 points to Slitherin.

That statement makes me further suspect what I’ve been suspecting all along, that these people worship Satan like some people claim to worship and giant spaghetti monster.

I feel like this is one of those times at which the phrase “This is just crazy enough to work” is actually applicable.

I love that the satanists have been able to carry out such an epic level troll on the fundie right like this. I’m not religious at all but it gives me a certain level of joy.

“was required to sign a contract transferring the property of their souls to Satan. This, we felt, would filter out the extreme superstitious radicals, and it worked.”

Things I never thought I would say: Well done, Satan!

State Institution for Male Defective Delinquents

Where would you even get that money from at age 5?

Well, she does say “cents,” and even five year olds have access to that kind of money. A five year old really has no concept of the difference between a quarter and $10,000.