Man, I love people who self-own through being hilariously inept. You know, pumpkin thieves, thin-skinned vulture capitalist owners of blog sites, those kinds of folks.

Hot take:

He will get his title back. These things are cyclical.

If he had ended up on teh cowboys and Emmitt was on the lions Barry would have had 25k yards rushing and emmitt would have been a night manager at a bowling alley after 3 years in the league.

Dear Penthouse,

FUCK THAT GUY AND HIS ILK FOR RUINING THE PUNCHING GAME FOR ALL OF US

I hope everyone on the floor would just do the Farmers Insurance jingle as he walked by as revenge. 

Fun fact: “The Touching is, To Me, Off Limits,” was the original title of MC Hammer’s 1990 breakthrough single. 

I love the idea that in real time the ref was like, “pivot-caught the ball-one-two-lost control-pivot-pass-legal.”
Second, we’re like two weeks from Harden just bobbling the ball from hand to hand as he walks down the court before plowing headlong into a defender actively running away from him and getting like 10…

Totally missed the opportunity to rearrange the letters into ANAL TIN POT.

“...despite video evidence that he walked into the space separating the students and Black Israelites and stood there before that students formed a semicircle around him. “

You are selling this idea very short.

On the flip side, it gave us a fucking great burn from the local Detroit paper.

Drew is an idiot and this is exactly why v-necks are better than crew.   Not all of us have tiny necks with little heads and need some extra room to navigate.

2.) Despite Drew’s ranking, I’m favorable of v-necks. They’re more comfortable as undershirts and look well enough to wear on their own. Also, the v-neck makes them easier to put on.

I just wish he would talk about himself in the third-person.

You gotta out the ball over the white part of the plate

This guy’s going to give all people with hand tattoos a bad rap.  

“Maybe they’re at the...library?” — U of A professor, before putting a gun in mouth

Did Mike not answer the questions OR did he just take some time to mullet over?