Hey, MD - not sure if you, Kinja, or thetallblonde themselves deleted their comment, but it was valid and I think it should be here. I definitely don’t always agree with the tone some Jez authors take, but I understand the inclination toward sarcasm/flippancy in the specific cases you mentioned.

Turns out the Giant Meteor we’ve been hoping for will in fact be a Tiny Meatier.

This is the turning point for the environmental movement! It’s starting to affect the dicks so now it’s serious!

Lol of course Beto was the bassist. That means he'll be a good politician who just wants everyone to get along and will stop fights and provide a strong foundation for everybody to be at their best.

“If only I could kill Bigfoot, maybe then Daddy would love me.”

I think Michael Ian Black might have what you’re looking for:

The personal experience thing is very real - it’s why we encourage people to come out of the closet about their sexuality and about having had abortions. It’s harder to hate on those things when they’re attached to someone you know and love. So, yeah, I’ll take it, too.

Why in God’s name was this wretched execrence given any kind of bond at all?? HE SHOT MULTIPLE WOMEN AND DID SO WHILE OUT ON BOND FOR SHOOTING SOMEONE.

I’m honestly as tired as the “John McCain was a terrible terrible person who no one should say nice things about” pieces as the “John McCain was last of a rare and noble breed of American statesmen” pieces. Dude died just yesterday, and in my universe, it’s still poor manners to interrupt other people’s mourning with…

THE RIGHT: These Leftists are rising in popularity. We must tear them down!

Eating our own, as per usual. 

The thing is...I am absolutely more successful today than I would have been if I hadn’t had an abortion at 16. It was the smartest choice I could have made, not to mention I didn’t want to have a baby. 

“By making the choice to have sex, a woman is making a conscious decision to engage in an act that has the natural result of creating a pregnancy”

Men shouldn’t have sex if they’re not prepared to accept that the woman may get an abortion.

Seriously though can you imagine the collective scream from men if women genuinely took this advice? I would maybe have had sex once every three years, and now that I’m done having kids I guess my husband is done having sex! Forever! If men have a problem with it they can take it to Scott Lloyd. 

I appreciate the pettiness of using the worst possible photo of her.

Trump reminds me of a pathological liar I used to work with.

The actual quote: “she burns facts and then she uses that ash to create a perfect smokey eye. Like maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s lies. It’s probably lies.” How is saying someone has “perfect” makeup insulting her looks?

If i changed that to “19 year old boy” the spelling and grammatical errors would still make sense wouldn’t they?

Where does the $15/hour wage come from? $15/hr can mean quite a difference city to city / county to county.