Hernandez has had more bad ejections than the Polish Space Agency.

Actually, Time magazine and the rest of the media could do America a service by transcribing everything Trump says in all-caps.

Dude. Caps Lock. You don’t need to type in all caps. It’s the equivalent of shouting.

LOTS OF PEOPLE ARE SAYING I’M GETTING A GIANT WAFFLE CONE...IF YOU TALK TO PEOPLE OUT THERE- AND THERE ARE MANY, MANY PEOPLE WHO WANT ME TO HAVE TWO DESSERTS. ICE CREAM AND COOKIES, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? WELL BELIEVE ME, WE’RE HAVING DESSERT AND IT’S GOING TO BE BIGLY. AN AMAZING AMOUNT OF DESSERT, AND ITS LEADING TO A…

This is where President Trump always comes out ahead on these exchanges (at least in the eyes of the people who vote for him). A person making an attempt at intellectual honesty says something like “there’s no evidence that...”. That’s responsible. It’s very hard to prove 100% that something didn’t happen. So…

“I guess we’ll see, Daddy, if I’m having ice cream for dessert or not. The committee hasn’t come back yet. I haven’t asked Mommy. Mommy might say I get two scoops, so you don’t know that for sure yet. I might get all the ice cream, strawberry, vanilla, chocolate, lots of flavors. Neapolitan. We’re just not sure, but…

Whoa. That guy really loves playing tennis.

Alternate Headline:

“Melania knows that I call my daughter my girlfriend. That’s what I was talking about. I don’t have a girlfriend,” he said.

No wonder Tom Brady is so quiet about discussing his diet.

I was always told not to feed dogs people food.

I’ve been through the worst.

Troll Tide.

Except for looking Asian, having a Japanese name, speaking Japanese and working for the security division of the Japanese govt, yeah, probably not Japanese. I don’t know why people think she is.

Sideshow will fuck you up man.

Meanwhile Dwayne Wade dislocated his elbow watching the fight from the pressbox

I know mascots for other teams should never root for opposing players, but Serge Ibaka just gained 29 new fans.

Finally, justice for NBA mascots everywhere.

Specifically, Ball said that LeBron’s sons aren’t primed for NBA success the way Lonzo and his brothers are because the pressure of living up to LeBron’s legacy will be too much.

It’s an amazing war of personal anecdotes here in the comments.