You and I are on the same page here. Here are my steaming takes:

Slight tangent-

REMEMBER THE KANT

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY IMPLYING THERE WOULD ONLY BE FLUFFING? TO MY KNOWLEDGE FLUFFING IS JUST A FORM OF FOREPLAY THE IDEA THAT THEY WOULDN’T TAKE THINGS TO COMPLETION IS LAUGHABLE TO ME.

I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT FOR [INSERT TEAM HERE] TO PLAY [INSERT TEAM HERE] ON [INSERT DATE] AT [INSERT TIME] IN THE RAUCOUS CITY OF [CITY NAME]. OHHHH YEAH YOU JUST KNOW [STAR PLAYER] IS GOING TO BE EXTRA MOTIVATED GIVEN THAT ROGER GOODELL SCREWED HIM OVER [DURING/PRIOR TO (SELECT ONE)] THE SEASON. ALSO WHAT’S THE DEAL…

Wanted: commenter who will help in completion of joke Deadspin post regarding Yoelkis Cespedes.

Flatulent

NEXT WEEK ON ANY GIVEN BACHELOR...WILL SYMANTHA GET THIS ‘TEEN WOLF’ REFERENCE? BILL GETS CAUGHT DRUNK TEXTING SAGE STEELE, IS HE HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS? AND THE LADIES HAVE A CONTEST...A SWIMSUIT CONTEST *boiiiiingaoingoing*

NUH UH YOU ARE

I don’t think he meant literally. It was an episode of COPS...

YEAH SOCCER PLAYERS AND THEIR FLOPPING PICK YOURSELF UP THIS IS WHY NO ONE WATCHES THE SPORT. I DON’T FLOP THAT MUCH WHEN I’M ELBOW DEEP IN SOME STRANGE SO THESE PEOPLE SHOULDN’T EVEN BE CONSIDERED MEN

YEAH THE YOUTHS THESE DAYS AND THEIR GABBUMINT SOCIAL MEDIA WHATSITS

Those jerseys are really fucking dope though

Your’s was better. +1

“See?!”

MCDONALDS

Jim Tomsula got a job with Washington so that fear should be abated.

LOL WOMEN AM I RIGHT FELLAS? CAN’T LIVE WITH THEM, CAN’T WATCH FOOTBALL WITH THEM EITHER

what’s the other?