He’s just Ted Cruz’s first form. The Republican asshat blowfish evolution scale goes as follows:

This will warm your heart on the coldest of days.

Like Christian rock, but for the oil industry.

Whole lotta Steve Buscemi with a skateboard energy in these memes.

Eilish’s relationship with her ex-boyfriend, rapper Brandon Quention Adams, referred to as “Q.”

Dude. I checked your comment history half-expecting to discover you’re a troll or something but you seem like a legit, clever guy. So I want to try and engage you on this.

Well, I’m right there with you. I have asthma, but only under certain conditions. I have several autoimmune diseases. The thing that qualifies me for the jab is that I’m fat. For the benefit of people I don’t know, if I have to, I’d probably fudge things and exaggerate the asthma. Unfortunately, I have relatives in…

Millenials seem to have missed the memo that once you hit 35 you literally don’t have to care about any of this shit anymore.

Has Trump tweeted about it?  OH WAIT!  I BET HE HASN’T!

Which is not that expensive for a nice piano

She’s never looked better. Just radiates glow and talent and positive energy. “I see a 2nd place trophy, but imma put that one in the trash... shouldn’t be in here. We don’t keep second place” - GOAT flex energy I live for. 

This person:

I don’t think Ted Cruz is so much dumb as he is an opportunist at the moment. He’s really trying hard to pick up Cult 45 for himself, it’s pretty evident when he’s been going full throttle on the stupid lately. 

Theory: She sheds are the natural response to the “open concept” house everyone thought they wanted but quickly learned meant “No place at all to get away to”.

Heartbreakingly, 6% of parents said they felt some level of remorse about starting families. One 40-year-old mother told the researchers, “I regret having my kids because I am terrified that they will be facing the end of the world due to climate change.”

Remember America’s Mayor? Remember when he was seen as a very serious presidential contender in 2008? It’s really stunning — no one has had a more all-encompassing or more degrading fall from grace.

Wait, are you saying Lindsey Graham would act in an unethical and possibly criminal way? I do declare...I’m feeling a might dizzy...someone please assist me to that lovely divan yonder...Rafael, be a dear and bring me a tall julep...you make them just how I like...and perhaps you could fan me for just a little…

If 2020 taught us anything, it’s that when people say “I want things back to normal,” they’re part of the power structure that sees normal as someone else’s job.

Before 2016 I struggled with not wanting kids/ feeling pressure to have kids. But when I woke up the morning after Trump won my decision instantly solidified. I realized I do not live in the place I thought I did, and I certainly don’t want to bring kids into it. I don’t believe that we are headed in a direction that…

Exactly.