Touché

I say the comma isn't a strong enough mark to make that clear.

The new Corvette actually has amber turn signals.

Looks like that all just went over your head, huh?

It IS a little crazy for him to say that you WILL break up if you do any of these things... because he didn't say that! These things are supposed to predict a break-up with 90% accuracy. So maybe you're the lucky 1 in 10. Regardless, doing any of these things is pretty dickish.