money pit status coming soon.

Yep, a Miata is the answer! If he wants to get crazy a NB Mazdaspeed, Otherwise a NC power hard top is the most liveable year round version in PA.

I forgot VAG treats Audi and VW like Buick and Oldsmobile, respectively, here in the USA.

His recent video with his mom and girlfriend was really funny.

How to spot a North America MK7 owner in 1 sentence. (Hey fellow VW owner.)

Right!??

G8 Ute!

VW has an id.5 wagon in the works. Rumours suggest that the company will bring it to the US, but no-one is certain.

^ This. I just want an EV AWD wagon.

The B5 never had an Allroad. The original A6-based Allroad was a C5, where as later A4-based versions started with the B8.

Electric V60.  Yes, please.  

This is what I wanted. Last year, I needed to get into something new since my B5 Avant was getting long in the tooth. I thought of getting a V60 Polestar, but they weren’t available at the time. Then I was going to order a V60 CC, and wait a while (and do overseas delivery)…but luck had it that the exact one I was…

...will need a replacement for my B5 Allroad in a few years...

Yup, I would love to move to a V60 or V90 all electric.

True, but he also drives a big rig so it kind of makes up for it.

I mean, couldn’t *one* of you have given him a reasonable answer?  The only non-troll answer is the Acadia, and he literally said he had no use for an SUV.  I get that there’s a comedy element, but I thought there were supposed to be a few helpful suggestions?

Literally the closing sentence. 

This is correct. This car belongs to someone it hasn’t met yet. I hope they find each other.

america works just like a car... you put it in (D) to go forward and (R) to go backwards...

200mph with a check engine light.