Brb gonna write the screenplay

They did give it three years, but, yes, surely, like our great-great-grandparents, they should be obliged to stay together for life on the off chance one of them might be happy at some point in there.

I just want to point out that the style of reincarnation you’re referring to is not how Buddhists view reincarnation. According to Buddhists, the lives connected to you before your current one are not technically you, and you are not given a better or worse life depending on what you had done. The most common metaphor…

This story isn’t supernatural but it’s 100% true and probably the closest I’ve (knowingly) come to being in serious trouble.

I need you to listen. None of this is real. Do you understand? We’ve got our best people working on getting you out but, as of now, they can’t do that without you realizing the life you think you’re experiencing is a simulation.

The mother got angry at her for ‘trying to suppress his exploration of his sexual identity’.

That’s a real douchey comment for your husband to make. I imagine 99% of people will turn and look when they hear “look!” no matter the situation, it’s a totally normal impulse.

“I became an adult and everybody started hugging and kissing hello and goodbye, was like ‘what the fuck is this bullshit? Why do we need to touch?’” 

My immediate thought was, “But you didn’t throw your coffee cup at it? Because he deserved it! And then I realized what a waste of good coffee that’d be.

Your husband asked why you looked? *shakes head sadly* It’s a natural human reaction. Probably 95% of people would have looked. The other 5% didn’t hear the question.

You didn’t have the polite ‘Excuse me ma’am, my penis is out, would you care to glance at it?’ flasher?? Geez, bad luck on your part. Next time be sure to ignore the strange man who shouts at you, no matter what he might hold in his hand.

I’m not sure how we get your message out there but I think we need to try. Are you open to starting a church around your principles? I would like to be your first Bishop if so. I would also like to bring in as a major tenet that men not have sex with women who have not agreed to it. We could use similar logic as you…

We watched last night and my husband legit turned to me and said “DO YOU GUYS THINK OUR PENISES ARE UGLY”.

The minute your mental health means real people get hurt, you’ve left the realm where there’s anything excusable. And the minute you try to tell me you can’t figure that out because something something those crazy Japanese! I don’t have to be polite to you. Don’t talk to me anymore.

He’s certainly a 6...when hidden by his stacks of cash.

Either that’s a helluva generous six, or my standards are out of whack.

Did you mean Negative 6?

A 6?

Matt Damon has four daughters, people! He’s now contractually obligated to care about women.

You know what? Fuck Michael Moore. I’m not surprised Tarantino hasn’t said anything, he’s probably too busy saying the N word alone in his bathroom, for “artistic” reasons. But Michael Moore can take his liberal cred and shove it up his liberal ass. I’m fucking suck to death of liberals, particularly men, preaching…