Yeah wtf is this if I mysteriously die I’d prefer the people around me not take it upon themselves to dispose of my body without telling my family or the authorities

That makes me think of this:

No no no. It was an accident at sea. He was being considerate by burying her in the ocean she loved. The guy’s a hero. Nothing to see here.

A normal non-suspicious thing to do when someone dies in a completely innocent totally accidental way while in your company with no one else around is to dispose of the body and then lie about it.

I got groped by this skeezy looking skinhead at a GWAR show a few years back and he just literally would not leave me alone. I’d move to another point in the crowd and he’d follow me and just stand directly behind me and run his hands up and down my sides and across my chest. When the crowds get tight like that,…

I don’t know - it’s super common but yet somehow never gets less creepy. I think it’s an escape hatch - rather than having to deal with your own problems, you can just pretend how much better it’ll be once you run away and activate Backup Harem #17A.

“So you take her word as is? Not even a bit of skepticism?”

I was bored and on Instagram live the other day and started watching the feed of this radio show I’ve been listening to for years. A few mins later the guy from the show I crush on DMs me. We talked for a few days and I assumed he was divorced because I saw no sign of a wife in his pics. So I finally think to be on…

I propose a 300 inch solar powered screen that consistently plays the video for “Pass That Dutch” on a loop.

Why stop with a statue? Let’s build her a whole temple. Get your frieze on, Portsmouth.

Facebook has no idea what to do with me - I either get games advertising (skyrim, MMOs etc) or female fertility products (apparently all my time on Sephora has confused it)?! As a gay guy, I have no idea what I would do with a pregnancy test or those pills you’re meant to take to increase your fertility...

Right after I got engaged and married, I got a lot of ads for Black People Meet. I’m white. It was odd. Then I got a lot for pregnancy crisis centers and fertility treatments all together. Also odd. Then I kept getting diet ones until I liked a few eating disorder pages. Now I’m getting pregnancy and new infant ones…

If Kal Penn is looking for ways to fill his newly-free time, he can always come over to my house and... talk about supporting the arts while I get him nice glass of wine and turn down the lights and put on soft music and light some candles and *cough*

I fucking love it, and the sad part is that it shows the people who penned it should have been on any reasonable administration’s arts council.

The letter is an acrostic which spells out “RESIST”

Reproach...
Elevating...
Speaking...
Ignoring
Supremacy...
Thank You...

Hell, given the success of WW, she should be asking for MORE than what their other directors have been paid.

bish is out here demanding that jj abrams money and i am here 👏 for 👏 it 👏

I have a little thingy on my browser that specifically blocks FB cookies so I don’t have to worry about that shit.

It probably just takes your temperature while you sleep and then uses that data to tell you when to bang.

I mean, what did YOU learn from Legally Blonde? ‘Cause I learned you can be pretty AND smart.