If there’s anything 90s TV and movies have taught me, it’s that you should arrange for them to meet up for dinner alone. Your dad will plan to meet you there, your mom will plan to meet you at the same time. You won’t be there, but there’s a candlelit table (why would you meet either of your parents at a romantic…
It’s like all the things that went wrong in my childhood are fixed. Maybe my parents will remarry!
A male feminist walks into a bar
I think I’ve figured out the code: If you give a guy a boner, you’re “curvy.” If you don’t, you’re “fat.”
Also, this.
I love you anyway.
I’d also point out that you’re making your hot dogs all wrong. First you open the bun, add the condiments you want. Then you add the dog on top of the condiments. The dog keeps the mustard and relish in the bun and off your shirt.
Counterpoint: Fuck you, Chris.
Thanks. That is a good line. Thankfully, he didn’t try to do any of the “you’re such a nice person” shit, though he did say he wanted to be friends. I replied that if I wanted to remain involved with an emotionally stunted son of a bitch who only got in touch when he wanted something, I’d still talk to my father. And…
I for one come here precisely for the petty celebrity respite from reality. It keeps my brain calm so I can continue the good fight.
Re: Hudgens’s hair
Re: Vaness Hudgens’ nails:
Whaaat? Who actually stopped eating cookie dough forever and for always??? A few things worth noting here:
If there are no candles, you don’t get to make a wish! Then you may never escape that workplace! Duh.
At a place I used to work when it was someone’s birthday they had them “wave” the candles out by flapping a paper plate at it. Looked and felt incredibly stupid but in a workplace it made TOTAL sense. It was hard enough staying healthy in a cubical farm without infected birthday cakes.
So, not only do they do the tour but they do obscenely expensive meet and greets. You can pay a few thousand for a pic of you with the group or a few hundred for you and 9 other people. And unless you have a group of ten then it’s you and a bunch of randos. Each dude gets two girls next to them in the pictures.
You can also wear it to a date as a top.
As a woman, I Emmanuel Macron the fuck out of that handshake, and Donald Trump it a few times for good measure.
I mean . . . just . . . how did they convince him? Did they get a map?