"For me, all women around the world are alike. They all like a red dress, they all like a bit of chocolate before bed, they all cry at the same things. I don't see there is a difference, in the end, between an Asian woman and an American woman."

Yay! Boyonfire and I got a 0.96 which is above average! But to be fair, the only long emails we have are from the squishy phase of our relationship, and I used one of those.

Hey! I totally get what you're trying to say with the whole "God the Watchmaker" thing (which seems like a very Deistic conception of the universe), but I just wanted to let you know that the Watchmaker Analogy is actually a Creationist argument for intelligent design. The Watchmaker Analogy is the argument that, even…

Boyonfire is sleeping next to me and I am having an extremely difficult time containing me hysterical laughter. I'm trying to imagine what it is you love about the foot shavings (even the term "foot shavings" has me rolling). Do you love the way they look? The way they feel? Do you sprinkle them over pasta?

I actually like Remus more than I like Sirius, so I'd be down. I hate Snape, so I wouldn't touch that with a 10 foot wand. The Elrond Twins is a great one that I would have never thought of. I really hope I dream about this tonight!

You should be a lowbrow top chef. Flamin' Hot Cheeto ramen sounds like the best thing ever invented!

Haha this is one of my favorites. The punchline is so fun to deliver.

Haha I'd say Finnick is pretty aware of his sexiness. I actually wouldn't want to fuck him despite his inhuman gorgeousness because he's so delightfully, childishly innocent in my mind and I would feel too dirty. I'd rather fuck Peeta (if he were of age) or Boggs (Boggs is an incredibly sexy Timothy Olyphant-esque…

Oh, there are loads of literary characters I would bone. Peeta Mellark from the Hunger Games, if he was of age, of course. Edward Rochester from Jane Eyre, because I like a power struggle and I love older men. Strider is a great choice. I'd rather bone Fred Weasley than Sirius. Daniel Deronda from the book of the same…

CHEESE RAMEN? You have changed my life.

I FEEL IT!!

YOU'RE A DUDE? I had no idea!

Thanks for the response! I do not have a sexing machine. I have always wanted to learn how to sew but haven't gotten around to it. Do you happen to live in Chicago? I'd totally commission you to do it if you were willing and nearby.

I completely understand. I am in a similar situation with an acquaintance who I am obligated to hang out with for social reasons. It sucks to deal with. Your story is inspiring me to stand up for myself in the future. I am glad you were able to get away from it and I hope I can too. You don't deserve to be treated…

Good for you. It takes a lot to stand up to people like that, especially if they seem like they are trying to patch things up, but you did what is best for you. You don't need toxic people like that in your life.

It's sold out in stores as well. I decided to email Target and see if they'd restock it. Crossing my fingers! Otherwise I'm going the ebay route.

I just wish I knew how to sew! It's not that expensive (it's Target) so I wouldn't be too worried about experimenting with it myself if I could. It would make it so much easier because then I wouldn't have to worry about spending a ton of money on a freaking Target shirt that probably is poor quality anyway. And I…

Yeah I didn't think about the shoulders. That is probably the deal breaker. I looked for it on ebay and it's not there now, and I'm worried I'll never be able to find it because the name is really unspecific. Oh well. I decided on emailing them about a potential restock. Thanks for the advice!

Yeah, I thought that would be the case. It's so tempting to hope but it will probably cost too much and it's a Target shirt, so it's probably not the best quality anyway. Thanks for the advice! I emailed them to see if they will ever restock it.

I did that instead. Apparently it's been on the site for a month so I don't know if the will restock it but I emailed them. Thanks for the advice!