I’m starting to think my fiancée is on to something with her Castration Initiative...

I am fighting back tears on this. I have a one year old daughter and I’d kill myself if something this terrible happened to her. This really breaks my heart into a million pieces.

Gwen, you look amazing. I still really love you, despite the last few years where it felt like you were turning more Hollywood than Anaheim. You look really happy with Blake and so I am happy for you.

She never mentioned that once! Good to know.

Hot damn this show is so good. I would pay for the Stanbury experience where we go for cocktails and she subtly insults me the whole time.

... why not both dot gif

I was at this show. You might want to add that none other than Madonna came on stage to introduce Amy - and before doing so, offered to give blow jobs to anyone in MSG if they promised to vote for Hillary.

Dear Madge, we love you - but was that a promise or a threat?

Haven’t French men always been gross, smelly, serial harassers?

Finally, someone else who recognizes the utter classist, elitist, and condescending bullshit that was the wizarding world towards muggles in Harry Potter lore.

Man, fuck being President. According to Trump, if you’re Secretary of State you’re basically in God Mode and can shape world politics to your whim, Hillary was just lazy.

Let’s be clear about something...

Johnny Cash once sat at the table next to mine at the Bottom Line on night. He had the courtesy to not pester me the entire evening. I remember giving him a grateful nod as I left.

“I saw it in the window, and just had to have it”

That look on his face when he catches himself in the mirror is so fucking good.

As the locals would say, he robbed them blind.

...file a lawsuit against porn workers deemed to be in violation of it, requiring their real names and addresses to become part of the public record.

I, master of dad music, have been selected to make my fraternity’s parents’ weekend barbecue playlist. I am so excited, and both Motown and Steely Dan will feature prominently.

The Lord’s work.

this reminds me that i need to complete my masterpiece, a spotify playlist solely consisting of songs that feature out of nowhere saxophone solos

i swear, when its my time, im not telling anyone the sex because i refuse to outfit my baby in the awful pink and blue ish all over the place.