I first heard of him when he played Eyes Only on the TV show “Dark Angel,” starring Jessica Alba and guesting a very, very young Jensen Ackles. He then went on to play agent Anthony DiNozzo on NCIS and I never, ever could stand the character. Apparently I could smell this type of behavior on him.

It was h*ckin’ exciting, but that kind of stuff happens to us a lot. Like, for instance, I won tickets to see Tootsie the Musical here in Chicago via Global Citizen Rewards, so I took my friend. We get to the theater, get the tickets, and then there were another pair of tickets inside. Tickets to what? The party after…

Well, here’s the thing - we were pretty far away from the stage but it was a good time nonetheless.

I went to see Michelle Obama at her book tour launch here in Chicago at United Center, where Oprah did the interview (Oprah knows about us train people and made a point to actually give us a shoutout, but I digress). At the event Michelle told us that when they got in the helicopter to leave the WH she wanted to look…

Ladies, listen to the 12th Doctor! FFS, mate!

Years ago, when I was living in L.A. with a roommate, I’d been working for an ungodly amount of hours (I work from home still in the same field). My roommate was like, “You need to stop. Let’s go to Bay Cities and get sandwiches.” He wouldn’t take no for an answer.

As per usual, Twitter managed to fashion a moniker for her after misspelling the last name of the most hated character in the Potter universe - Dolores Umbridge.

If things worked like they do in my very vivid imagination, every one of these asshats would drop dead of an aneurysm immediately after pressing the yes vote for this entitled, abusive gasbag. After five votes, they’d have to stop because someone (likely a woman) would put two and two together.

No, Daenerys fucks up. She is no hero, that’s for sure. I was just using the whole “Dracarys” thing because hero or not, commanding dragons ia badass.

Okay, so I went full Hardison on this witchcraft thing, right? I looked up Bey’s band members.

There should be a law - crimes against women should be seen by female judges. Granted, there are some that should have their woman card revoked permanently, but this kind of stuff wouldn’t fly as much.

I follow this youtuber Zachary Campbell, pretty much since I went to the Formation World Tour and Bey used him and another girl for an interlude, right? He’s been on Nicki’s case a lot because, frankly, she’s been a bitch much lately.

I mean, the city of Houston set the record straight about Bey so...

I made the four hour version. I had to keep adding water so the sucker didn’t become a stuck, burned mess but it sort of melds with the onion that caramelizes over that long period of time. Bottom line, it’s delicious. Even my vegetable-hating younger bro loved it.

Nicki, girl... what’s going on wit chu? Do you need me to make you some food and talk? Spend some time with one of my cats? This is not what you want to do. Like, at all.

I have a bunch of tattoos... in places that are easy to hide (back of neck, back, right forearm, lower legs - those are smol). My forearm attracts the most attention, mostly because those tattoos are angelic sigils and things related to the TV show Supernatural and the fans are legions and legit lose their minds when…

My friend and I were texting as follows:

I love Nicki. That said, this album/tour/documentary/whatever feels tired and like she’s not into it, like she’s procrastinating af when it comes to everything. She kept pushing her album back, now she’s not making enough announcements regarding the tour, the documentary is also up in the air... I don’t get it.

Hey, Markle!

It has to have been Khaled and let me tell you why.