Nah, that scans.

“A Gruden” is certainly much more onomatopoeic.

Shhhh!

Masturbation?

Is that a Juno reference? Is she pregnant?

I laughed, until I didn’t.

Por que no los dos?

A lot of early metal was definitely punk (a lot was no where near it). A a fair bit of (real) punk was at least a little bit metal.

Did you read the headline?

I was sure you were, considering the umlaut in your handle. No, it was just a bad joke. Misfits are fucking awesome though!

Just like that Mötley Crüe song!

I prefer to enter one asshole at a time.

Confused? Yes, most definitely. Afraid? No. Not unless that shark was wearing some kind of mechanical walking apparatus.

Malia for President!!

Get the fluffer!

Does he not have anybody willing to use an iron for him? I just don’t understand...

That one came with built in googly eyes.

Just their step-children.