Sorry friends, as far as vaguely creepy old valentines cards go I’ve got the winners. Creepy Baphomet lamb, Fellatio the Snowman, and everyone’s favorite romantic icon...offensive Chinese laundromat worker.

Despite that I am a fan of the film’s female leads (why couldn’t Jennifer, Kate, and Julia have teamed up for something better?)

OMG, I didn’t get it at first because I was like...what, a normal shopping list? BUT HE’S A GUY. HE’S HER DAAAAAD. I totally get it now! It’s funny because the fact that she needs tampons means she’s ready to have babies which means she’s ready to have sex which means he’s going to be forced to think long and hard…