Oh look, it’s “Wrestling is Fake!” guy. Thanks for stopping by. We know. It’s still entertaining. He was the greatest pro wrestler of all time. Nobody said anything about actual fighting.

This is clearly all Burneko’s fault.

Ahem...

It will give the defense ammo, saying that he can’t possibly get a fair trial. Which is why, right or not, most government officials know to keep their mouths shut on personal feelings.

For the first time ever, I slam dunked a basketball.

The sun was brighter. The grass was greener. Food tasted better.

“This is somehow because of kneeling for the anthem”- Jerry Jones with his hand firmly up his Papa John puppet’s ass

Hungry Howies, Jet’s, and Marco’s are all real, and are all significantly better than any of the places on the list.

Not a lot better, but it’s a common phrase employed by teachers, employers, etc., all the time to signify the importance of the person with authority exercising authority. You would absolutely expect that expression to be uttered in this context, and while you may say, “that’s not a great choice of words,” you…

That’s not even the expression. The expression is that you don’t want the inmates running the asylum, which is offensive in a far more subtle way that probably wouldn’t have bothered anybody. The fact that he had to change the expression to make turn the players who are protesting (among other things) racial profiling…

Kurt Angle is the guy that watches the movie Kids and decides “That’s it. I’m wearing condoms from now on,” only to say “fuck condoms” the first opportunity he has with an attractive woman.

“Jordan would’ve faked the pass and then sliced between three players for a tongue-wagging JAMMMM!!!.”
—Most guys over 50

The only time my passes are called sick is when it is gas.

When Angle’s music played and he returned to the match, it could’ve just as easily been the intended setup for a Roman Reigns comeback.

+1 Shut em’ down

He was sober enough to remember to stop, drop, and roll. Most people would have instead opened up shop.

“The driver and his female passenger switched seats in the vehicle...“

It’s the Spurs! Murray was projected as a lottery pick last draft, and when he fell to the Spurs, everyone called it one of the great steals of the draft.

...who wore No. 35 for nine years in Oklahoma City before leaving.